


Waiting for October

by ImotoChan



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, I'm Sorry, M/M, Sugamama, but there's also fluff, cancer fic, daichidada?, kageyama's gonna die, lovely volleyball babes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-13
Updated: 2014-09-13
Packaged: 2018-02-17 05:49:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,934
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2298716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImotoChan/pseuds/ImotoChan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>October has always been Hinata's favorite month.</p>
<p>But he can no longer look forward to it.</p>
<p>Alternatively:</p>
<p>In which Kageyama has cancer, and he'll die in October</p>
            </blockquote>





	Waiting for October

**Author's Note:**

> god knows the world needs another cancer fic but gwahh i had to write one. i wrote it in one sitting at midnight so hngh 
> 
> i tried to not make it tooo sad but lordie it's a cancer fic! also hngh i dont know too much about cancer so if i got something wrong i'm sorry
> 
> i hope you like it~

October was always Hinata's favorie month.  
  
The trees were red and orange, and all the fallen leaves made a loud crunch when stomped on. The air was fresh and the cold had just begun to bite.   
  
Kageyama's bag was slung over his shoulder as he waited outside the gym, the October breeze lightly ruffling his hair.   
  
Kageyama's mouth opens and Hinata stares at him, not understanding any of the words that fall out of his mouth, except for:   
  
"I'm sorry."   
  
Hinata doesn't even have time to process Kageyama's two words, much less the words he spoke before.  
  
 _lung cancer_  
  
 _tumor_  
  
 _one year_  
  
"W-what are you talking about, Kageyama? Stop messing with me!" Hinata laughs shakily.  
  
When Kageyama doesn't reply, Hinata's eyes grow wider.  
  
"C-c'mon, we should head to Ukai-san's! Noya-senpai will be mad if we're late!" Hinata takes two strides towards him, looking up expectantly.  
  
"Idiot! I can't!"   
  
"Why?!"  
  
"I told you, didn't I?" Kageyama takes a deep breath and closes his eyes; his lashes are long, Hinata notes.  
  
"I won't be able toss to you anymore."   
  
"Why...?"  
  
"I'm dying!!"  
  
The words ring in Hinata's ears.   
  
 _dying_  
  
 _kageyama was dying_

______________  
  
A week passes and Kageyama hasn't spoken about it since.  
  
He has, however, stopped coming to practice. With each passing day, Hinata notices small changes with the boy.  
  
His insults lack bite, and he never meets Hinata's eyes anymore.  
  
Another week goes by, and Kageyama doesn't show up in homeroom.  
  
Hinata bikes to his house, ringing the doorbell and knocking on the door frantically, the words still ringing in his ears.  
  
 _"I'm dying"_  
  
After another five minutes, he hears shuffling and movement from inside.  
  
"Kageyama?"  
  
On the other side, the tall boy freezes, staring at the door with wide eyes.   
  
"Open the door."  
  
"Please."  
  
For the first time, Hinata's tone isn't carefree and light.  
  
Kageyama doesn't like that at all.   
  
As soon as he opens the door, Hinata jumps on him, and he stumbles backwards before catching himself on the stairwell.   
  
"Why are you here?" Kageyama asks, once the shorter boy pulls away from him.  
  
"I...was worried." Hinata's cheeks are flushed. 

"Kageyama, are you going to die?"  
  
He meets Hinata's amber eyes, "...yes."  
  
"In a year?"  
  
Kageyama nods.  
  
Hinata stares blankly at the taller's boy's chest, before stepping forward and grabbing the fabric of his shirt in his fist. "Well, then I..." He gets on his tippy-toes while tugging Kageyama's shirt, "...want to do this."  
  
Kageyama knew exactly what Hinata was planning to do, but he didn't expect it to feel like _that_.  
  
Their teeth clank clumsily at first, but Hinata's lips are warm and soft, and taste like strawberries, and soon Kageyama's arms wrap around Hinata's small waist, and Hinata's hands lock around Kageyama's neck.  
  
Both the boys are bright red when they pull apart.   
  
"Kageyama?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"I like you."  
  
"Y-yeah, and?"  
  
"What about you?"  
  
Kageyama rests a hand on Hinata's hair and huffs, looking off to the side.  
  
"Me too."  
  
"I like you, Hinata."  
  
______________  
  
The first month passes by quickly. Kageyama shows up to school every now and then, but mostly stays home. His therapy is doing a little, but not much.  
  
Most weekends, when Kageyama isn't helping Hinata study (though they somehow usual end under the blankets, whispering dumb silly things), they have movie nights.   
  
Hinata likes the way he fits into Kageyama's side, the way Kageyama pulls him up close.  
  
Most of Kageyama's comments were rude and demeaning, leaving Hinata to wonder why it is he felt the way he did, but when they stay up late, cuddled on the couch, he remembers why.  
  
"Wooah! Did you see that?? It was all 'gwaaah!' and 'booom!'" Hinata points excitedly at the screen, grinning.   
  
"Yes, of course I saw it! I'm right here, idiot." Kageyama says, flicking Hinata's forehead.  
  
"Hmph." Hinata huffs.  
  
And then Kageyama leans forward, kissing where he flicked. "Sorry..."  
  
Hinata wonders if Kageyama was always like this or if he changed.   
  
But he knows, he never changed.  
  
Kageyama has always been unreadable, and although his words can be harsh, there's no denying how much he truly cares.   
  
______________  
  
Soon, it is winter.  
  
Kageyama's mom always thanks Hinata when he visits, usually with a bag of freshly baked cookies (made by Hinata's mother).  
  
One snowy day, Hinata came by with Natsu, who ran over and jumped onto Kageyama's lap as soon as she saw him seated on the couch.  
  
Kageyama stared blankly at her, and Hinata laughed at his expression, easily reading the confusion.   
  
"Kage-nii! Where's your hair?" Natsu pats the top of his head, where his black locks should be.  
  
"It ran away." Kageyama states.  
  
Natsu giggles, pinching one of his cheeks. "Liar~!"  
  
Kageyama smiles, a real smile, "Nuh-uh. It really did. I think it went to the kitchen."  
  
Natsu hops up, "I'm going to find it!", and runs off.   
  
Hinata shuffles over, sitting beside him.  
  
"Shouldn't you tell the team?" Hinata asks, snuggling into his side.  
  
"Mm, probably."  
  
"You're not going to graduate with me..." Hinata mumbles the realization. "I'll be a third-year all by myself."   
  
"There's Tsukishima and Yamaguchi."  
  
"It's different!" Hinata huffs.   
  
Kageyama nods, combing his hand through Hinata's curls.  
  
"It isn't fair..." Hinata murmurs into Kageyama's side. "You don't deserve this..."  
  
Kageyama can only mumble in quiet agreement.  
  
"We were going to go to the Olympics. Be number one."  
  
"You can still do that." Kageyama tells him.  
  
"I can't without you."   
  
"You can fly."  
  
"I need you."  
  
Kageyama sighs, kissing Hinata's temple.  
  
"I think mom made tea to go with the cookies you brought."   
  
Hinata grins, "Hurray!"  
  
But really, Hinata knows that Kageyama wanted to change the subject.  
  
They still had time.   
  
He was still here.   
  
______________  
  
Quickly, it is spring.  
  
The cherry blossoms are in full bloom when Nishinoya and Tanaka graduate.  
  
Daichi and the others came back to see them, and also to help out with the underclassmen while the third years were busy with graduation.   
  
The spring air isn't crisp like autumn or nippy like winter. It's clear, and Hinata loves the smell of flowers in the air.  
  
Kageyama allows Hinata to push him in his wheelchair, although he can push himself.   
  
He isn't so weak that he can't walk, but Karasuno is a bit longer distance away.   
  
When the team sees the two enter the gym, they flock to them.  
  
"Kageyama-senpai?"  
  
"Are you alright?"  
  
"Why are you in a wheelchair?"  
  
Daichi clears his throat.   
  
"I may no longer be this team's captain, but I'd appreciate your respect. Go to the auditorium, the ceremony will be starting soon and all the third years are there."  
  
Once they leave, Daichi crosses his arms and raises an eyebrow at the two. Sugawara is beside him, wearing a worried expression.   
  
"I have lung cancer." Kageyama states flatly.  
  
Daichi's arms drop to his side.  
  
"Have you been doing chemotherapy?" Sugawara asks.  
  
Hinata removes the baseball cap on Kageyama's head, "He has. The tumor was already spreading by the time it was diagnosed."  
  
Sugawara stares at his former underclassmen, eyes a little wide at his maturity.  
  
"I'm going to be gone by October."  
  
Daichi steps forward, placing the cap back on his head. "Mm, I see."  
  
"Let's go to the ceremony." Daichi takes Kageyama's wheelchair and wheels it to the exit. Hinata leaves to follow but Sugawara stops him.  
  
"We'll just lock up!" Sugawara yells, getting a "don't be late!" in return.  
  
"Hinata?"  
  
The orange haired boy whimpers.  
  
Sugawara smiles softly and extends his arms. Hinata is pulled into them, his tiny body shaking with sobs.  
  
"Shh, you're strong, Hinata, so, so, strong." Sugawara strokes his hair.  
  
"It isn't fair!" Hinata says in between hiccups. "Why does he have to go? I need him! It isn't fair! It isn't fair!"  
  
Sugawara places a soft kiss on the top of Hinata's head. "I know, Hinata, I know."   
  
The small boy clutches onto Sugawara, shaking. "It isn't fair..."  
  
And quietly, incoherently, "I love him..."  
  
______________  
  
The heat of summer is not like before.  
  
Perhaps because Hinata spends almost all his free time in Kageyama's cold hospital room, taking a leave from the club.   
  
He thinks once Kageyama is gone, there's no reason to go back.  
  
But he won't say that.  
  
Kageyama looks weaker than before, he isn't eating much, his face is dark, his cheeks sulken.   
  
Hinata's almost positive Kageyama can read minds because one afternoon he told him that he should keep playing volleyball.  
  
"It's pointless without you!" Hinata states, crossing his arms.  
  
"But you've got to do it."  
  
"What?"  
  
Kageyama shakes his head and smiles, "Nevermind. Just keep playing."  
  
"What is it??" Hinata asks.  
  
"Nothing." His tone is teasing.  
  
"Kageyama!"  
  
Kageyama just shakes his head, "It really is nothing."  
  
Hinata huffs but accepts it for now. "Fine."  
  
"Come here."  
  
Hinata shuffles over beside Kageyama's bed.  
  
Kageyama pulls out something from his bedside drawer. "A belated present."  
  
Hinata stares at it, and grins.  
  
"Uwah, thank you!" He stuffs it into his bag, eyes sparkling.  
  
"Hinata?"  
  
"Mm?"  
  
"It's only a few months now."  
  
Hinata nods, kissing Kagayama's cheek. "I know."  
  
Their time, they knew, wasn't much longer.  
  
______________  
  
October, Hinata realizes, was no longer something he looked forward too.  
  
Kageyama was worse. He was coughing up more blood, the tumor was larger, and they both knew.  
  
It was time.  
  
Nothing could prepare Hinata for this, this moment of goodbye.  
  
How do you say goodbye to someone who is your everything?  
  
Kageyama's mother is sitting in a chair on the opposite side of his bed. He's holding her hand while she sniffles, smiling, telling him that it would be okay.  
  
They all knew it would not be.   
  
Hinata stands at his side, his eyes tearing up, but he refuses to cry, not here, not after being strong for _so long_.  
  
Kageyama's heart monitor is beginning to beep abnormally, and his doctor glances at it worriedly.  
  
Kageyama squeezes Hinata's hand, "Hey, Hinata...?"  
  
"Mm?"  
  
"I'll always toss to you."  
  
Hinata understands exactly what he means.  
  
"I-I know. And I'll always be ready to hit your toss."  
  
"So, Hinata?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Please keep flying." Kageyama smiles weakly.  
  
"M-mm."   
  
"I'll always be here..." Kageyama closes his eyes, "...because, I..." almost inaudibly, only for Hinata's ears,  
  
"...love you, Shoyou."  
  
The heart monitor goes flat.  
  
There's a flurry of movement, doctors and nurses, and someone's crying.  
  
It could be Kageyama's mom, or Hinata, possibly both.  
  
 _"Keep Flying"_  
  
 _but you were my wings_

  
______________  
  
 _Six Years Later_  
  
Hinata pins the photo of his team above his desk, trying to arrange a few things.  
  
He had been the youngest member of any volleyball team to have made it to the Olympics, and to have won Gold.   
  
His eyes drift to another photo, this one in a frame.  
  
Hinata's arm is thrown around a boy who has a scowl on his face, but Hinata is grinning, and he can tell the other boy isn't truly upset.  
  
 _"A belated present."_  
  
Hinata smiles at the photo, placing a finger over the boy's face.  
  
 _Did you see, Kageyama?_  
  
 _I did it._  
  
 _I found my own wings and I flew._  
  
 _I hope I made you proud._  
  
Hinata falls back on his bed, a soft smile still on his face.  
  
He hopes---no, he's certain, that back then, Kageyama heard his words.  
  
 _"I...I'll keep flying!"_  
  
 _I kept my promise._  
  
 _Were you watching?_  
  
In his heart, Hinata knows he was.  
  
Kageyama was always there, and even if he was gone, Hinata knew.  
  
 _"I'll always toss to you!"_  
  
 _"I'll hit any toss of yours!"_  
  
Kageyama was right there beside him.   
  
 _"I'm proud, Shoyou."_  
  
 _"I know."_  
  
Hinata can finally look forward to October again. 

 

**Author's Note:**

> i hope the characterization wasn't too off gah
> 
> i'm sorry about the six year time skip if you didn't like it >.


End file.
